The Great Recession Blog
by David Haggith
Conspiracy theories about the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia already abound, thanks to the underwhelming laziness of Judge Cinderela Guevara. Though the death scene seems to tell a more sanguine tale than the theories, the match lit the tinder thanks to Judgerela refusing an autopsy, Scalia’s body being transported quickly to the flames, the lack of Judge Scalia’s usual security detail, the timing of his death, and especially a misspoken word about a pillow over Justice Antonin Scalia’s sweet face, which his Italian mother loved.
Before Scalia’s host, John Poindexter, could clarify his pillow talk, the flames of conspiracy were rampantly spreading across the internet. Here are the main conspiracy theories about the death of Antonin Scalia formulated within a few days of his untimely demise. Each of these conspiracy theories has accumulated as much evidence as there is to support Queen Elizabeth’s propensity for smoking pot. (Which just goes to prove you can spawn conspiracy theories as fast as you can think and drink.) At the end, you’ll find my own superior conspiracy theory about the death of Judge Anthony Scalia:
Conspiracy Theory #1 about Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death
I’ll put him first because that’s where he likes to be: Quick to move the pillow from “over the head” to “over the face,” Donald Trump told Michael Savage that the pillow being “over his face” was “a very unusual place to find a pillow.” Indeed, it would have been if any witness had ever said there was a pillow over his face. (See the article I linked to above about Judgerela.) We can only hope this man of well-chosen word replacement and such careful deliberation, as was equalled only by Abraham Lincoln, becomes president. I’m just sayin’.
Conspiracy Theory #2 about Justice Scalia’s death
Alex Jones, second only to Trump in conspiracy fame, said in “an emergency transmission” that “This is the season of treason… It’s in the play book, and I’ve dealt with this myself personally.” (He had a Supreme Court justice die in his bedroom?) “When they kill somebody, they say, ‘It appears to be natural causes. There’s nothing to see….’ ” (That’s true. As soon as you hear them say someone died of natural causes, you know it’s an assassination.)
“Obama is one vote away form being able to ban guns, open the borders … and now Scalia dies…. If our government that’s been hijacked by foreign interests will fund Al Qaeda and ISIS to overthrow Lybia, Egypt, Syria and kill hundreds of thousands of Christians, do you think they’d kill Scalia to get their agenda through…?” (Who me? No probably not, but anything is possible.)
“I wish it was natural causes; but, man, my gut tells me no! If this is an assassination, it signifies that they’re dropping the hammer…. There’s a major war in D.C. …. and now Scalia dies right on time…. This is the take-down of America. This is the globalists’ takeover…. Are they gonna kill Clarence Thomas? Are they gonna kill Ron Paul? Maybe they’ll kill Donald Trump next.”
(Somehow we went straight from “if” to “this IS.” I certainly wouldn’t say Scalia wasn’t assassinated, but I would not jump to the conclusion he was just because they said it was of natural causes, and you know what that always means, even when it is an unknown judge in a tiny little town that says it. Those small-town judges are just the ones that can be most easily “persuaded” if you know what I mean.)
Conspiracy Theory #3 about Judge Scalia’s death
Website Sabateur365 has a specific idea of who they is: “Texas is where the power elites send their prominent enemies to be murdered. Once in a while, they want to send a message with their assassinations, but usually it works out better for them to have the cause of death established as a heart attack.” (Well, there you go. This fits their MO exactly!) “John F. Kennedy was killed in Texas in a very public way. Allegedly, Scalia died in his sleep, all alone. Was Dick Cheney on the premises?”
(Well, it was a hunting Ranch, and it did happen only two days after the tenth anniversary of Dick Cheney’s last attempt to kill a friend on a hunting ranch; but Cheney’s MO is to shoot his friends in the face; so, let’s not jump to premature judgment just because this is the kind of place Cheney would frequent.)
“There’s no way for Scalia to have known that he was the prey, not the animals on the big ranch he was visiting….” (Especially if he wasn’t.) “I’m expecting that the autopsy will take place in Texas, conducted by someone under the control of the Illuminati (call them what you will–the power elites, globalists, oligarchs, etc.)” (Let’s just call them the “Bush Brigade.”)
“Did Scalia make a stray comment about the Hillary email investigation? Is the Supreme Court going to have to make a ruling in that investigation? (What is this? Guilt by question? Always good to hedge your bet; just in case it wasn’t Cheney working on behalf of the Bush Brigade, suggest it was Hillary, too. With so many definite perps, though, this is getting to be a little like Murder on the Orient Express.)
“You just know that Scalia would have voted to fry her sorry butt.” (But I thought it was Cheney. Must have been Hillary, then, even though there hasn’t been word anywhere about any Hillary crimes actually going to the Supreme Court. Justice Scalia needed to die just in case Hillary does go to court and in case it happens to be to the Supreme Court. The Clintons take no chances.)
Conspiracy Theory #4 in the strange death of Judge Antonin Scalia
Even if it wasn’t Cheney, let’s explore the Bush Brigade a little deeper for a conspiracy theory about Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death. The judge’s death did happen at Cibolo Creek Ranch in Texas but not at Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas, which is owned by George Bush & Family. That might have made the whole Bush family mad that Antonin Scalia went hunting somewhere else. So, maybe the Bushes did it themselves. Maybe Scalia was Bushwhacked!)
Moreover, an alternate theory, according to The Abreu Report, is that perhaps Justice Scalia was about to out the Bushes for their involvement in creating the terrorist attacks on 9/11. (Now, you’ve got double motive.)
“Scalia’s death marks a stunning development in the 15-year saga that has become the War on Terror, but one that will likely be buried by elements within the American military-industrial complex. ” (Forget using the military-industrial complex, I say the Bushes may have used a smaller gun and put Cheney up to pulling off the actual hit. Let’s pull these estranged (and strange) ideas together.)
Abreu says the judge’s body was immediately embalmed. (The family says it was cremated, but, what do they know?) Abreu is proud to claim it was the first site to break the news of foul play, while adding “It is not revealed why Scalia was ready to face the Bush family…” (Um, maybe because he wasn’t.) “…but it’s now evidently clear that the Supreme Court Justice chose the wrong state to visit.” (Evidently. There’s nothing certain but death in Texas.)
Conspiracy theory #5 about the prophesied death of Scalia
Author Jack Cashill claims in an article in the American Thinker that he personally predicted Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death in a novel he wrote in 2000. Plugging the book, he quotes, “What left our protagonists vulnerable was a recent change in the composition of the Supreme Court, one that gave progressives a free hand to interpret the law any way they saw fit…. Since the untimely and inexplicable death of Antonin Scalia … the forces of federal and judicial usurpation have gone virtually unchecked.” (So, Cashill may have seen this coming clear back in 2000, even before the Bushes blue up the World Trade Center in order to launch an oil war.)
In Cashill’s book, Scalia dies unexpectedly in his sleep. (Oooeeeoooo.) Says Cashill, “After a hasty investigation … the DC police ruled the death carbon monoxide poisoning….” (Hey, that was one of the explanations given in the real-life death of Justice Scalia … after a quicker-than hasty investigation.) “Not everyone bought the explanation….” (Hey, not everyone bought it in real life either. This guy is really prescient.) “Talk radio jocks began to demand a fuller investigation.” (Hey, Alex Jones is already there, doing that, too.) “As usual, the outcry was quickly dismissed as right wing conspiracy blather.” (Can you imagine saying claims like this are just conspiracy blather?)
(This guy really hit the nail on the head, and he did it long before the event, which I always like better than when a prophet springs up after something like 9/11 to say, “I predicted that.” Cashill, then, goes on to plug his next non-fiction book about Hillary’s conspiracy to cover up the crash of flight TWA800. Hold it! I think he’s missing an opportunity here to make his Hillary book a sequel to the earlier novel by tying her into the assassination of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.)
Conspiracy Theory #6 in which the death of the Supreme Court justice starts to get weird
Conspiracy website HardDawn suggests that Leonard Nimoy assassinated Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. “One major issue for Clinton is that her email scandal threatens to completely derail her candidacy.” (Hold it. I thought we were talking about Nimoy.)
“According to numerous insiders…” (Watch out when they start quoting nameless “insiders.”) “…the Republicans are holding back the most damning information until she is actually chosen as the Democratic nominee. At that point, they will release reams of documents implicating her in a host of federal crimes. In such a scenario, the FBI would be forced to indict the former Secretary of State.”
(Umm, what happened to Nimoy, and isn’t he already dead, himself? The Republican papers would presumably be taken to trial at the Supreme Court. So, maybe Clinton hired the deceased Leonard Nimoy to assassinate Scalia … “because of his leadership in the Illuminati.” Ah, there we go. The conspiracy theory here is that Hillary hired Nimoy to assassinate Judge Scalia in order to put the court more in her favor, should this information finally go to court. It’s all adding up now.)
According to HardDawn, Marfa, Texas, where Scalia died, is an Illuminati hotbed for alien contact. Naturally, then, Nimoy, being the Vulcan that he once played, would touch down there to make his posthumous assassination on the way to Planet Nibiru. (One can only presume that Nimoy didn’t really die, but was beamed up last year and then beamed down near the anniversary of his death to assassinate the revered old judge).
As a result, says the website, we can only expect hard-core homosexuality to run amok … as well as nudism and marijuana abuse. (That’s probably the part where the queen comes in.) The mere fact that Scalia died so close to the anniversary of Nimoy’s death is beyond coincidence. (Yeah, you gotta figure the rest of that would follow. That kind of activity usually does break out wherever there has been a recent alien invasion. We also know that aliens, especially if they are not legal, hate Judge Scalia.)
Conspiracy theory #7
One Christian news site, TruNews, found it suspicious that the president of the United States would know about the death of a Supreme Court justice before the general public. Therefore, TruNews, clearly interested only in truth, suggested that Scalia was killed with “a secret heart-attack gun” by the orders of President Obama. (Why on earth would officials notify the president of the United States about the death of a high-ranking official before telling the rest of us? The fact that Obama knew before the news went public does give you the suspicion that the president might have plotted the whole thing. Think about it: Who would be more likely to stand in the way of Obama’s third term than conservative Justice Antonin Scalia? This isn’t just the stuff nuts come up with, though if you spread it on bread, it’d sell in a Jif.)
Conspiracy theory #8 about the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia
Though Dave Hodges agrees that we don’t know if a murder even happened, he, at least, knows the motive for the murder. “Once the facts supporting that there should have been a murder investigation complete with a full autopsy, I immediately knew the motive because I had extensively written about this over several years ago.”
Hodges goes on to say how Scalia had to die so that United Nations Agenda 21 could move forward because Scalia was the main opponent on the Supreme Court against Obama’s climate change initiative, which was designed to help implement Agenda 21. It was only a week prior to His Honor’s death that he had voted on the court to block Obama’s initiative.
(While I’m not sure about Hodge’s prophetic ability, one cannot disagree with Hodges when he goes on to say that Judge Cinderela seemed to think she’s a qualified forensics doctor, even by phone investigation, and that she handled the death of a Supreme Court Justice about as carefully as she might have handled the death of a rabid dog. Hodges also notes that Scalia’s cremation was nearly immediate, which is odd since devout Catholics like Scalia and his family usually frown on cremation.)
Conspiracy theory #9 about the death of Supreme Court Judge Antonin Scalia
Glenn Beck, on the other hand, believes Justice Antonin Scalia’s death was a God conspiracy. God took away his life so that Ted Cruz can win the presidency. Beck pronounced God’s judgment over Scalia as a sign to America. Assuming the voice of God, Beck proclaimed, “I just woke the American people up. I took them out of the game show moment and woke enough of them up to say, ‘Look how close your liberty is to being lost.’ The Constitution is hanging by a thread. That thread has just been cut. And the only way that we survive now is if we have a true constitutionalist (as president).”
(So, God took out a true constitutionalist on the Supreme Court in order to make sure we get a true constitutionalist as president? He knocked out his best conservative and a devout Catholic just to teach the rest of America they need someone like him? God took out his best defender of the constitution in the hope that it will get conservatives to vote for a president who defends the constitution? Didn’t Jesus says something about “a house divided against itself cannot stand?” Later quoted by Lincoln. Not sure that knocking out the Supreme Court defense of the constitution in order to get some presidential support for it is a winning plan on God’s part. But Beck thinks it makes sense, so it must.)
#10, and I save the best for last — my own conspiracy theory about the death of Justice Scalia
Given, all of the above, I have a conspiracy theory about Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death of my own:
Clearly President Obama was upset that the Supreme Court blocked his climate initiatives and knew that he had to get Scalia out of the way if he was going to get any of the UN powers in place that he will need once he finishes his term and moves on to become Secretary General of the UN. Obama also knew that a Trump presidency would constantly oppose his efforts to rule the world from the UN, and he knew that Scalia might very well press for high-level court action against Hillary Clinton, assuring Trump a victory. Therefore, Obama needed to protect Hillary’s chances of making it through the courts and up the steps of the White House.
Knowing that the Bush family was concerned Scalia was about to out them for W’s successful plot to blow up the World Trade Center, Obama picked up the red phone and made a call to the former president, asking him to contact his former V.P. Dick Cheney because Cheney would be hunting at the same ranch with Judge Scalia over the next few days. Obama asked Bush to have Cheney shoot Antonin Scalia in the face because he has a knack for that sort of thing. George Bush followed through after being assured Obama would not turn the Justice Dept. lose on the Bush family over 9/11.
Cheney, then, played his role with relish. He convinced his old buddy Scalia that neither of them needed to bother with their usual Secret Service details as the ranch was well known to be the secure refuge of celebrities … and he and Scalia would be armed and, so, could protect themselves anyway.
Cheney, however, is no mental midget. He knew that, if Justice Scalia died from being shot in the face, all eyes would turn toward Cheney. Cheney, however, knows a thing or two about heart attacks. He knew his friend had a weak heart and knew that a little dart of potassium chloride straight to the chest from the CIA’s secret heart-attack gun would certainly do the job. Cheney dropped by Scalia’s room after dinner for a quick nightcap, and shot the dart into Scalia’s chest.
The Bush family, meanwhile, has considerable influence in Texas, and they knew that Judge Juanita Bishop would do an accomplished job of investigating the scene of the death of a Supreme Court justice, while Judge Cinderela was an incompetent known to divine how the deaths in her county happened by watching videos and known to have a bias against bothersome murder investigations. (See article referenced at beginning.) Therefore, the Bush family, in order to be safe, arranged for Justice Bishop to be called to another official duty that day.
Donald Trump, who also hunts at this saucy celebrity retreat, entered the room just before anyone showed up and moved the pillow from “above the head” of Justice Scalia to “over his face” in order to raise suspicion of foul play, hoping that Ted Cruz would be blamed. Glen Beck saw Trumps accusation coming, so preemptively leaped to the rescue, stating that God did it all in order to get the US electorate to realize they need a man like Cruz if they want to get a conservative replacement on Judge Scalia’s seat. (I warned you that, with so many likely perps this was going to get to be like Murder on the Orient Express.)
When Judge Cinderela, heard that the pillow over Scalia’s face was made of down, she had a blond moment (even though she’s brunette) and pronounced Scalia had died of natural causes, given that the pillow was not synthetic.
Occam’s Razor says that the simplest answer that covers all aspects of a question is the one most likely to be correct. I think every reader will see, therefore, that my argument is the simplest answer that covers all the other conspiracy theories and known facts about Judge Antonin Scalia’s death.
For the facts on the mysterious death of Judge Antonin Scalia, see my earlier article, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia Died of “Natural Causes.”